Writer of Fantasy. Wielder of Red Pens.

Tag: writing prompts (Page 16 of 21)

The Sewer

“Break. Five minutes, lads. Countdown begins now.” I hit the clock and twisted, trying to get the kink out from between my shoulder blades. Every trip, knots bury themselves hard beneath my skin, like a strange sort of game of marbles. My body plays itself, using my stress to raise the stakes.

Don’t get me wrong. The money after a successful trip is wildly generous, and I take full advantage. I’m fresh as a daisy – not that anyone remembers what that means these days, but that’s the saying – by the time I have to cross the Sewers again.

“Cap’n.” The slurred word isn’t a question, but there it is. The indicator that precedes the question.

Technically, I should be an admiral by now. If we were still in the Milky Way, close to Mother Earth, I would be, but then I’d be trapped in bureaucracy and screaming with boredom. Out here with a ragtag fleet cobbled together with duct tape and wire? You get what the crews’ll give you, and this one comes with a bob of respect along with the inevitable question.

It’s the same every time. The new guys all ask. “Why the break?”

I grunted and kept my eyes on the scanner. Pointed at some blobs on the screen. “Piki, you see this?”

A nod, caught in peripheral vision. He hovers, trying to see without getting closer.

“Move up if you want to.” I don’t mind giving away my tricks. I do this because I want the challenge and to get away from the world, not for the money. The more of us out here in the Sewer, the more chance of rescue when I’m the one who bites it this time.

Usually I’m the one doing the rescuing. Apparently I’ve got a reputation.

And so, the question, every time. Asking why we stop isn’t literal. They want to know how I do it. How I’ve gotten so many fleets through.

He inches over with a shuffle, and I hear the slight wheeze of his breathing.

“Look, this here is our fleet. Everyone’s transiting real slow through this shit.” That’s why they call it the Sewer. Everyone has the same reaction when they see it. Wrinkled nose, trying to dodge, hoping you make it through without an explosion. A crappy path, mined out and filled with debris. Moving debris.

Supposedly the companies that drilled out here were going to clean it up before an asteroid strike had them cut their losses. I’d believe that if they hadn’t mined in a damn asteroid belt to begin with. It’s still the best way from point A to B, at least until they come up with a better starship drive that can skip it entirely.

I keep my eye on the tech developments. Too young to retire, dontcha know. But wormholes or gate jumping in space, that’ll be the sign. Retire or head west, no-longer-young-man, until the next planet ends the adventure with an ammonia atmosphere or an alien melts my brain.

“That’s the fleet. We’re waiting for them to catch up.”

He rubs a hand over his nose and leans toward the screen. “Because everything backs up in the Toilets.”

I pull my lips back in a grimace. The safe path is ridiculously narrow, and this is the worst of it. It’s why I stop just past when I’m escorting a fleet through. “Yeah. So we wait to see if we’re needed for rescue.”

I stab a finger at the screens and the view switches to our plotted course with a bright red, dotted line. It’s the safe path specific for this particular flight through the asteroids, charted with more AI than is good for anyone and updated continuously with my personal VFR. The ships don’t join the fleet if they aren’t willing to follow it precisely.

“Flow like water, around obstacles. But make sure you clear the path behind you, not just in front of you.”

The countdown flashes the one minute warning. Piki bobs his head again, thin shoulders shuffling. “So you remember you’re human.”

“Yeah.” I flip the screen back and lean back with a satisfied grin. “That’s really all there is to it. You see the dots onscreen? I see the same number as when I went in.”

He lets out a whoop that echoes weirdly with the countdown buzzer, then heads back to his station with his head down when the others return. It’s the loudest I’ve ever heard him.

I’m relieved, too, but can’t let that show in front of the crew. They expect calm and steady, just as they know rock-solid that five minutes is all it’s safe to pause, because that’s all I gave them. Every contingency planned for and thirteen different types of anticipation for any eventuality.

Also, cleanup’s a bitch. Especially when it’s a euphemism for salvage, not rescue. It’s easy to lose your humanity out here when mistakes will kill in ways you can’t anticipate. To get callous about things you never dreamed you’d laugh about, even though we came to the stars to ensure humanity survived.

But you’d think more people would get the point about treating the spaceflow path of a fleet like water, and the Sewer like plumbing. Especially given the name of the ship.

I reach for the comms and let the relief channel through my words. “Alligator Fleet, this is Plumber Actual. Damage assessment requested…”

***

“When the sewers backed up, the alligators started coming out of the toilets…” I knew I wanted to do something different than the obvious with ‘nother Mike’s prompt this week, but all credit for this idea goes to The Husband.

My prompt went to Cedar Sanderson, and I can’t wait to see what she does with a penguin attack!

Centaurs on Vacation

Water lapped at the docks with quiet repetition. Soft music shifted as they strolled down the weathered planks between restaurants. Fairy lights began to provide additional atmosphere as birds flew their last twilight missions, hurrying with the last bits of twigs and worms.

Hand in hand, each of them eating soft serve ice cream with their free hands. All in all, it was the epitome of a restful summer day in New Hampshire.

Peter gave June a nudge. “You see that?”

She popped the last bite of her vanilla cone into her mouth. “Argh. Some tourist left their purse behind, looks like. I’ll go see if there’s a wallet.”

He squeezed her hand briefly and let go. “I think I see a uniform up there. I’ll go see if it’s a policeman.”

June sat on the wooden bench and leaned over the straw tote with a giant pink flower. The purse shifted, and she caught an expensive DSLR camera before it hit the ground with a sigh of relief.

Her touch woke the camera from technological sleep. The back lit up with the last photo taken. June paused, unfamiliar with the device and uncomfortable with uncertain ethics of viewing another’s photos without explicit permission.

“Maybe it’ll give a clue if they’re still in the area,” she muttered to herself, and zoomed in on the first image.

A group of tourists stood atop one Rattlesnake mountain. One had – the body of a horse? An illusion, of course. A trick of angles. How would a horse make the hike?

Another man seemed to have wings. Surely, a convenient cloud. She squinted, finding it difficult to focus on the man’s face. That peculiar golden glow must be from sunlight.

She pressed the back arrow to move to the next photo. A hydra stood in front of Lake Winnipesaukee’s brilliant blue waters, each of its nine heads grinning with exuberant energy and wearing a different hat.

“Excuse me,” a voice interrupted.

June looked up into dark sunglasses that were no longer appropriate for the steadily increasing dusk. Dyed green dreadlocks fell to shoulder length above a floaty wrap dress covered in flowers that matched the one on the purse – and the photographs – precisely.

“This must be yours,” June said, handing the woman the bag. “I was hoping to find a clue. My boyfriend went to find…”

The woman’s thick braided hair moved with a faint hiss. The woman didn’t use her hands to push it back.

She felt the blood rush out of her face, and was suddenly very glad the gorgon had worn her glasses.

“Er…” she managed.

The woman turned back toward June, apprehension across her face. “Yes?”

She managed an unsteady grin. “Welcome to Lost Creek.”

***

I grabbed a spare from the Odd Prompts this week, as I forgot what day it was. Oops!

Check out last week’s belated entry here.

Homestead in Exile

Miranda awoke disoriented from her spot drowsing in the warm afternoon sunlight. She straightened her scaled crimson forelimbs, soft black topsoil churned under sharp claws. Blinking, she raised her head and looked around, uncertain why she’d awakened from her nap.

The view extended around her looked structurally the same as it had since she’d first arrived ten years ago. An orchard stretched to the northwest, a lake to the east, a cabin to the south, surrounded by forest. To the north, the mountain chain with its white peaks towered, jagged teeth that bound the horizon. The Great Mountain loomed large and forbidding above all the rest.

The changes were small but vital. The orchard’s trees were no longer dried and half-dead from benign neglect, as they had been when she’d started her exile. Now they sparkled in orderly rows, almost-ripe jeweled stonefruits gleaming rainbows in the light. The cabin roof had been repaired from leaks and rot both, and extended into a cool, dry network of natural caverns. Even the lake improved from swampy muck after blockage had been cleared and aquatic plants filtered.

She had done this, Miranda thought with satisfaction, a smile cresting her face. A lifetime of uselessness purged along with her penance for sins past, all poured instead into creating life from nothing, order from resounding chaos.

The stonefruits she grew were sold as jewels and jewelry to foreign lands, allowing the countryside to recover from a long and disastrous war. She helped her country by avoiding it, and Miranda was pleased with both.

Legend spoke of the stones’ ability to enhance dragon magic, tipping the balance toward the light in the wars. Legend, and the secrets she had paid dearly in costs more than coin to keep.

A rustling in the tree above her head interrupted her ruminations. Miranda tipped her head back, languid movements still protesting wakefulness. She recognized the tiny green eyes staring down from the perch and moved her head toward the branch in greeting. A miniscule tongue darted out and licked her nose, while oversized fuzzy ears rotated batlike, as if seeking invisible aerial signals.

“Brat,” she grumbled at the cat. “Why aren’t you afraid to wake me up? I could eat you in one bite, and instead you wake me for tea.” The grey tabby mewled and hopped onto her horns, trotting down her neck spines to land and flex against the ground with easy grace before shaking his head.

Miranda mimicked the stretch as she yawned. Snapping her wings open, she rose to head back to the cabin. “You’re right, of course, Greystone. The book bearer is due soon.” The cat nodded, increasing his size to trot alongside her as they headed for home. Spots dappled his fur with a shimmer, the tabby stripes fading from view with each step.

Home, she thought. She was content in the peaceful countryside. Surrounded by trees and a loyal companion, left alone by the world. It was a far cry from her childhood. What more could any dragon ask?

Greystone darted ahead through the open gate with the whisk of a black-tipped tail. Miranda paused, scanning the horizon one last time, inexplicably unnerved.

She curled her lip back and snarled softly into the silence. There was a scent she didn’t like in the air of the homestead she’d so proudly built, and one she couldn’t fully articulate. Like the scent of a distant fire, the campgrounds of the inbound marching army, a portent not yet fully realized.

***

This week, Leigh Kimmel prompted me with “Something in the air, like the smoke of a distant fire,” which worked out well for Miranda’s introduction. This is a bit of a cheat, as it’s a rewrite from an earlier start of In Defense of Dragons, but that’s all I’ve got for this week.

Meanwhile, I prompted AC Young with ““Oh, that’s just Glenda, the theater ghost. Don’t worry. She just wants to make you sneeze.”” Go check it out at More Odds Than Ends, and join in next week’s!

Silver Rhino Shining

We interrupt this prompt for a brief story about lessons learned, irony, and writers who should know better than to tempt fate. You all know exactly where this is going, and you are not wrong.

I submitted a story for an anthology a while back. Didn’t expect to get in, and procrastinated on book two of the Professor Porter series, because I didn’t really have a deadline. So what did it matter that I submitted a short story that takes place after book two?

Somewhere, the gods are laughing.

May be an image of 1 person and text that says 'AN URBAN FANTASY ANTHOLOGY SUMMER POLSTICE SHENANIGANS MARTHA CARR AND TWENTY-FIVE MORE'
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And now, onto my prompt from nother Mike. This’ll be short, because apparently I need to type a whole lot of words. At exceptionally rapid speed. With a large, awkward bandage on one finger. But this prompt fits nicely with a story I played with a while ago and needed more tempering before it turned into a real story. One of these days, In Defense of Dragons will be written in full. (It will not be today.)

***

Miranda walked down the stone hallway toward the ballroom, adjusting her tiara with one claw. The movements were simultaneously automatic and uncomfortable, just as every half-forgotten scent teased her with suppressed sneezes and memories alike. Greystone followed her on silent padding paws, near-invisible in the shadow of the crimson dragon.

She paused for a tiny silver rhino to barrel his way past, his double horns shining in the torchlight. The toddler’s mouth gaped permanently open in a wordless yell. Each miniature foot thudded heavily against the polished granite.

The boy’s coordination was still in development, which became evident with a distinct crash and splinter as a wooden table holding flowers shattered with a spectacular shower of colorful blooms.

An enormous sigh came from above Miranda’s head. She hadn’t realized she’d become a blockade until she saw the mother rhinoceros making her way cautiously down the stairs. From the look of her, she was due with another young one in the near future.

The adult rhino nodded an apology without looking up from the level of Miranda’s feet. “So sorry, milady. He’s young.”

The boy wobbled back to his feet and pranced among the debris. “I am rhino-mite! Rhiiiiino-miiiite!”

“Well, he did lumber from side to side,” Greystone murmured from behind her.

Miranda shot him a look and shushed the cat. “We’re not at home.”

His spots flushed, and even his footfalls sounded apologetic as he followed her toward the debris. “I apologize. Diplomacy is indeed called for.”

The pregnant rhinoceros looked up this time as she swept up the pieces of wreckage with one foot and corralled her son with the other. Miranda hadn’t realized rhinos could change color until the woman began to resemble bleached linen.

“Your highness!” The rhino extended an awkward leg into a shaking bow. She nudged her son into some semblance of the same pose.

“Goodwife Rhino,” Miranda acknowledged the woman with a precise nod trained into her from birth. “I bid you good luck. I expect you have extraordinarily full days.” She looked down at the boy. “And you will make an excellent charger in my father’s army when you grow just a bit larger, won’t you?”

He puffed with pride, and nudged a squashed pink rose toward her.

She picked it up in a hand and held it to her nose. Longing pulled at her throat abruptly, and only a lifetime of training held her sudden emotion in check. Her eyes burned with the effort. No matter that the cultured, stuffy flowers of the castle were a far cry from the orchard with its crystal gardens where she’d spent most of the past ten years. It was enough to reinforce that she no longer belonged here, in the castle she’d once called home.

No, Miranda did not want to be here. Nor would she let her father down when he needed her most.

***

My prompt went to AC Young, about biohacking and the tropes of television that teach us (very occasional) wisdom. Check out the comments of Odd Prompts for more!

Love and Terror

Gina ran into the conservatory and felt the humidity hit her face as the door banged shut behind her. The pot in her hand didn’t have much time left.

She could tell where her grandmother had already been, just by how well the plants were doing. The vegetables were noticeably plumper after a visit, and odd combinations managed to thrive in ways that would make horticulturists shudder. Leaves became perkier, stems greener, buds unfurled into colorful and fragrant blooms. Vines trailed over brick and stone, trailing delicate stems in curls with the promise of fruit.

Humming came from the farthest end of the conservatory, where the special plants were.

Gina sped her footsteps toward the humming, careful not to touch any of the plants. Her gifts weren’t wanted here, and it was rare she dared the overgrown paths.

“Gina?” Always the tone of surprise, but her grandmother’s voice was welcoming nonetheless. “What are you doing here?”

“Grandma, it needs help. I took it too far.” She held up the pot of violets, brown and shriveled in a bed of parched dirt.

“You must learn control of your magic,” Grandmother admonished. “I won’t always be around to save your plants, you know.”

She ran a hand gently over the flowers, which purred and followed her touch. Life bloomed green and purple under her aged hand, the swollen knuckles defying her gift.

The girl grinned and gave a little dance, her red sneakers hitting the brick floor in a tattoo of staccato steps. “Thanks, Grandma!”

“Gina, try to keep this one only half-dead if you can. Now scoot. Get out of here before I have to revive it again.”

She ducked her head and tucked the pot close to her chest. Before she could turn to go, a hand fell on her shoulder.

“Wait a moment, will you?” Grandmother stooped down and spoke directly to the pot of violets. Her voice crooned a beckoning call, and the violets swayed as her breath passed over the newly regrown petals. “Now. You be good, or Grandma will get you.”

The quiet words sunk in for a moment, as if the violets were wondering whether the old woman meant it. Then flowers doubled in size, spilling over Gina’s small hands in their eagerness.

She leaned over and kissed her grandmother’s wrinkled cheek. “That’ll keep them in line before I kill them again next week!”

“Threats always do, dear. Now shoo. The cucumbers still need inspiration.”

***

This week, my prompt came from nother Mike, who wants plants to purr. Mine went to Becky Jones, and I hope she continues a dangerously delicious story!

Schooltime Songs

Jake wasn’t quite sure what it meant when the little anime figure beside the computer monitor started talking, but it probably wasn’t a good sign. He couldn’t tell anyone, obviously. His twin sister Annie already made fun of him for having a statue of a girl.

He swallowed, suddenly uncomfortable. The plastic woman in the sailor outfit and high boots made him uncomfortable in ways he wasn’t sure he was ready for yet. He just knew that he liked looking at the tiny figurine. Plus, cool time powers. What wasn’t to like?

But now…maybe insanity came with the hormones they talked about in health class.

“Time to get up!” the statue chirped in a singsong. She twirled her staff and thumped it on his desk. “School is waiting!”

“It’s summer,” Jake mumbled. He wasn’t sure he’d moved or even blinked since he’d heard a noise and woken up to keep Annie out of his room again.

The door opened, and his mom poked her head in. “Were you talking to someone?”

He shook his head, still under the blue and black checked plaid blanket.

“Well, get up then. Sprinkles needs her walk. Your turn.” She closed the door gently, her footsteps echoing down the hall toward his sister’s room.

The sailor winked at him and gave a snappy salute.

Jake hurried to pull his jeans on while still under the blanket, careful to avoid eye contact.

When he got back from a tour of sniffing neighborhood mailboxes with a fluffy black dog convinced she was four times larger than she was, the house was in an uproar.

“I’m telling you, it warbled!” Annie was shouting at the top of his lungs. Dad was pouring coffee, looking apologetic as he headed for the garage.

“Water doesn’t really sing, dear. Not even in singing fountains.” Mom was having none of it, humming to tease the girl while she trimmed the flower stems. She placed the bouquet of flowers in the mason jar always kept in the kitchen window.

Jake stared. “What didn’t warble?”

“It did,” Annie insisted. “I was taking a shower and the water began warbling.”

“Glad you finally showered,” he said under his breath. He caught her glare. “I mean, are you sure you weren’t singing without realizing it? You warble, right?”

“Why would I sing about school? Or you?” She scoffed and shoved a piece of toast in her mouth. “Imma nos two ped.”

“No, you just sound stupid,” Jake replied, and fled before she could catch him.

He’d nearly forgotten by lunchtime. Mom forgot time when she was in the greenhouse, so dinner was the big meal together. He usually just grabbed a sandwich and snacks from the approved healthy bin if he really needed something to tide him over. Only this time, the kitchen wasn’t empty.

His mother sat dangling a dainty, empty teacup from one pinky. From the odd sharp scent in the air, he wasn’t sure she’d actually been drinking tea.

“Uh, Mom?”

She hiccupped. “You know those mini daffodils I have in the greenhouse? The white ones with the orange center? I love the scent on those.”

He hadn’t a clue what she meant. “Sure, Mom. Did they get a fungus or a pest infestation or something?”

“They sang,” she said, and looked at her cup sadly. “They want you to go to school.”

“What, owl delivery was broken?”

He could have fallen on the linoleum when she nodded. “I thought the powers skipped both you and Annie.”

Behind his mother, the flowers in the mason jar began glowing.

***

Not sure I’m quite happy with this one, but I’ve been looking for an opportunity to use those singing flowers. Might play with it some more. Thanks to nother mike for the opening paragraph’s prompt! Mine went to AC Young, who rescued the orangutan on a motorcycle. Inspired by real life, but apparently I have a movie to watch…

Escape

This post has been removed by the author in preparation for publication.

***

I took some liberties with this week’s prompt from Leigh Kimmel to make it fit with Paladin’s Legacy, book two of the Professor Porter series (which is achingly slow, but finally stutter-stepping its way along. “You hear a thumping from under the heating register, like there’s someone in the basement tapping on the ductwork. Except this house doesn’t have a basement.”

My prompt went to nother Mike: “The city had a sudden rash of helpful acts of vandalism.”

Interested in creative and writing prompts? Check out More Odds Than Ends here.

Space Cookies

Squeak flicked his tail in irritation and chittered at the recalcitrant computer. “Did you change our course again?”

“After the last time you yelled at me?” Black and white fur stretched from a blob to form slowly extending spotted paws. A yawn, and ivory fangs flashed with a curled pink tongue half-hidden behind. “Wouldn’t have dared. I programmed the course based on what you asked.”

“Linky, we’re headed straight for that asteroid.” He curled his fluffy tail around the chair back for balance and pressed his paws against the computer screen with rapid motions, adjusting their course.

She yawned again, her voice still low with sleep. “You wanted to visit the asteroid. You told me to program the computer for the asteroid.”

“You programmed it to go through the asteroid,” Squeak snapped at the cat. He flattened his ears backward. Why couldn’t his partner have been a squirrel, like usual? She slept all the time and took up four times the room. He could have had a whole crew. But Linky came cheap, because she did things her way, and he was a sucker for a bargain.

The cat stretched, her head low and her tail spiking straight upward. “Fastest way to get those core samples you wanted. Then we swing back around the other side and orbit while we analyze the results.”

“Though, Linky. You want to go through the asteroid. I wanted to land on it. On its surface.”

She blinked pale green eyes at him. “The initial scan shows ice. I programmed us to slow down to drilling speed. Safer than a spacewalk. You change our speed, you change our trajectory.”

“We’re almost there.” Squeak cut her off and blew out his cheeks. Why hadn’t he gotten married like his mother wanted? He could raise a whole brood of space squirrels. “Suit up.”

She twitched her whiskers and turned away. “Aye aye, cap’n. If that’s what you want.”

They both knew they had several hours before they’d reach the asteroid, especially after the course change. Squeak was just getting rid of her, and they both knew it.

He’d just turned back to the computer when the spaceship jolted. Then jolted again. “Hailstorm?”

“Asteroid field,” Linky said. She flowed toward the controls and took over, steering through the pebbles. “Just little ones. I had us programmed to go around it.”

Squirrels didn’t blush like those weird talking apes he’d found a few planets back, but Squeak wanted to all of a sudden. The Nutter Butter didn’t deserve the kind of reckless disregard and endangerment he’d just caused. He puffed out his cheeks again and took a deep breath, then tilted his chin up. “I’m – I’m sorry.”

She lifted a paw in the feline equivalent of a shrug. “You should get some sleep. You spent all night checking our inventory.”

He hung his head, ears drooping. “Double checking. I knew you did it yesterday afternoon.”

“I’m aware of that.” Linky’s tone was dry. “You trust me at all?”

“Getting there.” He hesitated. “I’m going to crash out. Get some rest. You should, too.”

She stretched again, arching her back, and padded her way over to the sleeping room. Linky curled up but kept her eyes open, watching him with those enormous eyes. “Won’t argue.”

He hesitated again, and a mental ghost whispered into his brain. Trust your crew, or stay out of space. Squeak gave a half-smile at the memory. Uncle Fletch had been just as ornery as Linky. Why, he’d even flown one of the asteroid belt races just to annoy his mother.

He curled up next to Linky, and for the first time used her tail as a pillow. Like crew should. For the first time, he realized she probably hadn’t been sleeping well either. Maybe that was why she seemed tired so often.

“Long day,” he said with a sigh. He stared at the ceiling, the lights auto-dimmed now that movement had stopped. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw her eyes close. Her body relaxed, with a faint rumble he felt vibrate through her longer fur into his shorter coat.

“Yes,” Linky said. “Let’s get some sleep. We’ve got a big day ahead.”

***

Becky Jones and I traded prompts this week. A cat and a squirrel curling up together (and talking) was given life by a conversation about humanity’s future regrets in taking cats into space.

In return, she used “I have a lot of work travel coming up and wanted shells in place” for inspiration.

Join Odd Prompts at More Odds Than Ends!

Zoo Day

“Fishcicles,” Anna insisted. Her jaw elevated, a stubborn point hovering above her collar and scarf. Dark eyebrows furrowed into a glare.

Brad sighed and spread his hands flat on the rock wall surrounding the polar bear enclosure. Being on the receiving end of Anna’s glares usually led to worse later. “I’m telling you, fishcicles are not a thing.”

She poked him in the side with a bony finger. “They totally are. It’s an animal enrichment thing. Keeps them from getting bored. They freeze a bunch of fish and give it to the bears. Snack and play all in one. What else would you call it besides a fishcicle?”

“They freeze a lot of things around here,” he muttered. The rock was freezing, just like the rest of him. He stuck his hands in his coat pockets. “How about we head into the aviary for a while and warm up?”

“You do what you want,” she loftily informed him. “I’m going to see the giraffes.”

He sighed and followed his girlfriend. The path leading to the giraffes was covered in familiar fake hoofprints and bird tracks. Enormous pawprints led to the left, where the big cats prowled behind glass enclosures.

Or did, when it wasn’t well below freezing. Today the cats were huddled into furry communal piles, with no interest in entertaining visitors who should be prey.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like the zoo. He had a membership. There was something new every time, like the escaped flamingo flock or the rhino’s sneezing fit. He just liked it better when it was warm. When fishcicles weren’t a consideration, and ice cream dripped onto his hands, making Anna laugh and give him a sticky-sweet kiss.

Brad caught up to her at the edge of the enclosure. Once they’d seen the giraffes racing in a circle, the seven-foot baby ungainly as it tried to keep up with the longer legs of its herdmates. Today, only a lone giraffe awaited, outstretched head nuzzling sadly at bare branches. Anna had stopped to watch, her chin tucked back into her woolen scarf.

“You realize there are about six other people here at the whole zoo, and they’re all employees?” He flinched at her expression and backed up a step. “I just meant that they aren’t letting people feed the giraffes today.”

“You can if you have any food,” a deep voice said from above his head. “Those crackers the zoo employees sell to gullible tourists are pretty boring. You got any Doritos?”

Anna squeaked. “Did you hear that?”

“I’m pretty sure the giraffe just talked.” Brad felt his eyes burn in the cold air.

“I’ve got a name, you know.” The knobby head tilted, and those giant brown eyes looked annoyed. “The zookeepers call me Zippy, but Mom calls me Zeke.”

“Hi, Zeke.” Anna’s faint voice floated onto the air. “I don’t have any Doritos. Sorry.”

The creature sighed. “That’s all right. You probably didn’t think I liked them. Let me tell you, that cheese dust is amazing.”

“Or that you could talk,” Brad blurted. He wasn’t convinced this wasn’t a frozen hallucination.

The giraffe bent all the way down to look him in the eye. “There’s a lot you probably don’t know about us. Well, let me tell you…”

***

Becky Jones and I traded animal-themed Odd Prompts this week. I had fun with talking giraffes, and tossed aeronautical rabbits her way.

The Shadow

“The Shadow President laid his plans with care.” This one from AC Young was an interesting challenge. I prefer to avoid politics as much as one can these days, so the obvious answer is out. Similarly, while I enjoy reading some alternative/historical universes, I’m not particularly attracted to creating them. Done well, they’re great; done poorly, not so much.

But there are other types of presidents, and perhaps one of their shadows could wander off and have adventures on its own, J.M. Barrie style?

Which led to – I am not kidding – conversations about space assassins. The guild needs a president, right? What about scouting organizations? HOAs? (Please tell me we won’t export those to space.)

And that led to this.

***

“Those crows are hanging around your yard a lot.” The sharp, nasally voice interrupted George’s reading. “You’d better not be hanging up birdfeeders again.”

He put down his book with a sigh and looked over at the post-and-rail fence that had been perfectly adequate until his new neighbor moved in. Why, he’d even had conversations at the fence in the past, just like you saw on TV. With all three of this hag’s predecessors.

The hag in question was wearing her usual sweater twinset and pearls, looking for all the world like an out-of-place schoolmarm. One that tormented rather than taught students, judging by the near-permanent snarl on her face. He’d only seen it leave when she was advocating to form a homeowner’s association.

As if this neighborhood didn’t already take care of its own.

He didn’t bother to stand up and head for the fence. The conversation wouldn’t last long enough to be worth the effort. “I don’t hang up birdfeeders, Janice. Never have.” Not since Lydia passed, he amended silently. He was sure some of the crows retained fond memories, and he wouldn’t chase them off. Nor would he share Lydia’s memory with someone who didn’t value nature.

“I’m the president of the homeowners’ association, and you’d best believe I will make you find a way from keeping bird dookie off my car.”

“You want me to put up a scarecrow?” He raised his glass of iced tea in a mock toast. “Only if it will scare off the HOA I didn’t agree to belong to. I’m not subject to your rules, nor can I control the crows.”

Squeaky fuss emanated from the fenceline, but George paid it no more attention than he’d give to a yapping dog. He took a drink and picked up his book. The mystery was far more interesting than anything Janice Tweller had to say.

The light was dying by the time he turned the last page, and the air growing chill. He went inside, bones creaking after so long without moving. A solitary dinner under the kitchen lights was in his future, just as it had been for three and a half years now.

The pot was on to boil water when he realized he’d forgotten to get the mail. He was so engrossed in mocking the latest ads that were all he’d received that he nearly missed the giant red paper tacked to his front door as he trudged back inside.

Janice’s latest trick, presumably. George rolled his eyes and snagged the paper to laugh at while he made dinner.

“Well, now, Lydia.” He still talked as if his wife could hear him, and who’s to say she didn’t? “Looks like the hag has found a new way to annoy me. She thinks she’s found a legal way to force HOA membership. Plus fees, of course.”

He stirred the spaghetti sauce and gave it a taste test. “More garlic, I think. Almost ready. You’d have found a way to drive her off by now, I’m sure. I do wonder what John was thinking, selling the property to her at all.”

George drained the noodles. “Perhaps it’s time for something to convince her to move on.”

Step by step, the shadow president of the entirely unofficial, nonexistent homeowners’ association laid his plans aloud for his late wife, pausing for occasional bites of spaghetti.

His shadow nodded in response. At the end of the meal, it slipped out of the kitchen window without him and crossed over the fence line.

George sat at the table with a sad smile and took a sip of wine. “Wish you could see this, Lydia. He’ll be up to all sorts of antics now. We’ll have a ‘for sale’ sign in her yard within a week.”

***

My prompt about the aliens’ dream invasion went to Becky Jones. Check it out, as well as the rest of the More Odds Than Ends odd prompters!

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